


Crestfallen

by rotosalt (orphan_account)



Series: False God [1]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: I hate myself, Ima make myself cry, Josh is an innocent beeb, angsty, throw me in the sin bin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 11:08:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6801262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/rotosalt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Smol, innocent beeb Josh catches Tyler masturbating. It only gets angsty from there. </p><p>(Why is all of my stuff smutty and angsty and terribly written, wowo.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crestfallen

He hums as he walks back to the bunks, the title screen for The Little Mermaid is on the T.V. behind him. Hopefully Tyler isn't asleep, they'd hardly spent any time together. As he enters he begins to call softly.

"Tyler."

There's no response, just a slight shuffling of fabric. He moves closer to Ty's bunk, saying his name a bit louder. "Tyler. Ty, are you asleep?"

"N-no. But I'm trying to be. Leave me alone."

Josh frowns and pauses briefly. He lifts his hand to the curtain, wrapping his fingers around the edge and gently pullin it back.

Everything, except drumming, Josh did was gentle. He was gentle. From the tips of his light pink hair to the bottoms of his lilac socks. But he wasn't just gentle. He was _innocent_ , and so when he pulls the curtain back he almost screams.

Tyler's breathing is harsh, a tan hand is wrapped around his dick, which is flushed a bright red. "Josh! What the heck?"

His hands meet his reddened face quickly, covering his eyes as he turns his body away. When he speaks his voice is barely above a sqeak. "I'm sorry."

"Nah, man, it's fine, just- ah, holy crap!"

Josh almost screams. It's a foreign concept to him, as it would be to most, that Tyler may have _continued_ to jack off, despite having been caught and Josh standing right there.

He stands there for another thirty seconds or so before Tyler begins making absolutely obscene noises. Little moans and whimpers and pants and Josh can hear the way he's biting his lip. Josh can visualize the way Tyler's chest is rising and falling, expanding with each shallow breath.

He wants to rush out of here but his feet feel too much like lead and his brain is buzzing and Tyler is right behind him and he can hear the movements of his hand. He's fairly certain that his hearing had become hypersensitive because he's never been able to hear this well before.

"T-tyler..."

Josh blushes a nice shad of red when Tyler just moans in response. "Tyler." Another moan, accompanied by soft panting. "Tyler." More panting.

He shifts his weight and whimpers, wringing his hands while he thinks. Once the decision is made his stomach turns and he breaks out in a light sweat. He turns around and the curtain is still open, Tyler is peering up at him, mouth ajar, lips wet with saliva. He takes a step forward. It's taking eveything he's got to turn around and run out. He's certain the airy feeling in his stomach could combat the lead feet any day.

Tyler's eyes are barely half-lidded.

Josh leans forward enough so that he can comfortably set his hand over Tyler's. He swallows thickly when Tyler moans and cants his hips up. Josh pinches at the skin on  his hand until Tyler gets the idea and removes it.

When his hand finally slots over the skin of Tyler's length he nearly cries. He's not sure why but everything is overwhelming him right now. His arm is hovering over Tyler's legs. He wants to run his fingertips down his chest. He wants to feel tanned skin sticking to his palm.

So he does it. Tyler shudders beneath his hand. His fingers ghost over the skin stretched over his ribs before moving up to trace over his tattoos. His right hand is moving slowly, Tyler may have been close before but now he's about to cry.

Josh's pace is so agonizingly slow, but oh so fantastic. His back arches of of the sheets and Josh's eyes go wide. His pale fingers are skimming over Tyler's nipples. Tyler thrusts up into his hand and moans loudly. A few more thrusts on Tyler's part and Josh is burying himself in Tyler's neck.

Everything is moving slowly in his hazy vision. All he can think about is the way Tyler curls a hand around the back of his neck, fingers in the pink hair there, and pushes him in closer. His lips are pressed against soft flesh and he can feel Tyler swallow beneath his mouth.

He runs his tongue over his neck, teeth joining in to nip at the skin. Tyler's fingers are tightening in his hair, now placed somewhere closer to the top of his head.

"J-josh." He's still thrusting up into Josh's fist, his breathing becoming more erratic with each bite to his neck. He's moaning and whimpering and Josh isn't surprised by how vocal he is, he's just amazed by it.

When Tyler tenses up he leans up to watch him. He reaches orgasm and comes with a shout. He's saying Josh's name like it's a prayer, tugging at strands of pink hair. Josh admires the way his eyebrows furrow and his lips fall farther open, saliva-slick, red, and well-bitten.

Tyler's eyes finally open and come to rest on him. He's dazed and sweaty, but when he pats the open space beside him Josh climbs in and lays down. "Take your shirt off."

It's barely above a whisper and Tyler's fingers are barely tugging at the hem of his shirt. He pulls it over his head and Tyler pulls him in.

There's skin pressing to skin and Tyler is so warm. He tangles his legs with Josh's. His hand is resting on Josh’s hip, thumb rubbing over the area where the bone protrudes more.

Their eyes are closed and they sit quietly, the only sounds reaching their ears being their own soft breaths. Tyler's eyes remain closed even though he opens his.

He lets them fall over Tyler's face. Every expanse of skin is glowing, every pore, every scar, every crease and wrinkle, everything that meets his eyes amazes him. He thinks that there's no way he can even begin to comprehend how anything so beautiful has come to exist.

He's painfully aware that Tyler's going to wake up eventually and kick him out of his bunk. Make him promise to never mention this to anyone. Tell him that nothing like this will ever happen again.

He's painfully aware that one day Tyler will leave him. Whether it's in a car or in a casket.

He's painfully aware of Tyler's heartbeat beneath his fingertips. He wants to wake up to this every day. He wants to open his eyes and have Tyler stare up at him. He wants to lay with him and wake up with Tyler's hair in his nose and eyes and mouth. He wants Tyler to fall alseep on his arm and have it go numb.

He wants to make pancakes on Saturday mornings and have Tyler walk out of their bedroom wearing one of his shirts and a pair of boxers. He wants to give Tyler his jacket when he's cold, and open doors for him, and take him out to dinner just to see how his eyes glow in the lighting.

He wants something more than what Tyler will ever offer him. For now he decides that he'll lay here and in a week he'll attend Tyler's wedding. And in a few years he'll pour his heart into picking baby names. And in ten years he'll be Uncle Josh. And as that child stumbles over to Jenna he will smile brightly.

And he and Tyler will grow old as best friends and Tyler will lean over at eighty years old and press his wrinkly lips to Jenna's wrinkly lips and Josh will purse his wrinkly lips.

And he'll excuse himself to his room where he'll cry dry tears. Where he'll sob himself to sleep as he thinks of all the things he's ever wanted to say to Tyler.

But as Josh lays here now, he's finding it increasingly difficult to find the strength to stay put. He wants to run his hands threw Tyler's hair and whisper sweet things into his ear and call him baby and sweetie and honey and cupcake. He wants to tell him how beautiful he is. He wants to be the one getting married in a week. He wants to pick baby names with Tyler for his own child. He wants to be dad not uncle. He wants that child to stumble over to him and smile not because he has to, but because he's _happy_.

And he wants him and Tyler to grow old as sappy husbands and he wants for Tyler to lean over at eight years old and press his wrinkly lips to Josh's wrinkly lips.

He wants to sit outside until the sun sets and then walk to their bedroom. He wants to fall sleep to Tyler's old man snores. He wants to hold Tyler's hand on his deathbed and tell him how much he loves him.

So he makes an attempt to pull himself away from Tyler. He does it carefully to avoid waking him up. Tyler's hand wraps around his wrist and he begins to walk away.

"Josh, where're you goin'?"

He pauses for a moment as Tyler pries his eyes open and focuses on Josh's eyes. As he looks at Tyler his gaze softens tremendously. He thinks for a moment before turning back to him.

He steps close enough to touch his hand to Tyler's face. And then he pulls himself from Tyler's grip gently.

"I don't know."

Tyler makes some kind of noise in response, he's not sure what it is but it sounds like a whine.

"See ya later, Jish."

"See you later, baby boy."

He throws his shirt back on and pushes the door open. The sky is covered in soft pinks and purples. He runs a hand over his face and begins walking down the road. He passes shops and apartment buildings and houses and parks where kids are being rounded up and packed into cars by their parents. He stares up at one shop, a small building full of flowers.

When he walks in he notices the abundance of different roses and sighs. He'd expected it, but he hadn't known how much it would get to him.

He buys a bouquet, some white flower the man operating the shop had called Iris, and then buys a couple pink roses that he shoved in there alongside the white flowers.

He vaguely thinks that maybe a box of chocolate or a card would have been more platonic, but as he walks back he doesn't regret buying the flowers. He stops by a CVS and picks out a card. It's simple and light pink, completely blank on the outside and the inside. He hadn't even known they sold stuff like this.

When he gets back Tyler is still asleep, he's thankful for that. He pulls out a marker and sits down with the card.

By the time he's finished with the outside it's covered in random doodles, little spaceships with aliens in them, stars, planets, assorted foods.

He opens it and tenses up. The inside is white like the flowers. His movements are careful. He doesn't write anything special, just a simple "Happy Valentine's Day, Tyler" and closes it.

The table is clean but he still wipes it down before he sets the flowers and card down. He climbs into his own bed and pulls the blanket up and over his shoulder.

He stares at the wall.

He wants to hand Tyler the flowers and kiss him. He wants to hold his hand over a cliché candlelit dinner and then order chocolate cake for Tyler to get on his face so he can wipe it off.

Instead he will settle for a bouquet of flowers he is certain will have began to wilt before Tyler wakes up and a simple card. Instead he will settle for staring at the wall and listening to Tyler's slow breathing.

He will settle for listening to Tyler's phone ring. It's Jenna calling, he's certain.

He will settle for thinking of what Tyler's skin felt like against his lips, for what Tyler's hips felt like, what his name sounded like rolling off of his tongue.

He will settle for sleeping alone, his only comfort being Tyler's lazy snores and soft mutterings.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Wowoow i hate myself. Also, i know its nowhere near valentines day but I wanted to write that in there so whatever. Moose, if you're reading this I simply cannot write more to point. I tried so hard and it just wasn't working. Please forgive me, I'm sorry. 
> 
> I feel like crap and I've been going through some crap so sorry if anyone actually enjoys my stuff and like looks forward to it or something. I haven't been writing much because ive just been kinda sad lately. But I'm working on more stuff. Ive got a couple things I could post at this point. 
> 
> Edit: i went through and tried to correct a bunch of my mistakes (whoops) so if you see anything wrong, please tell me. It's already 11 at night so I'm not really thinking straight, but yeah... 
> 
> Bye.


End file.
